Ann: Each of us comes to parenting with our own ideas of how we’re supposed to do this job – a job that becomes much more complicated as our kids enter adolescence. And one of the most significant and potentially troublesome issues we face is our kid’s use of substances; alcohol, nicotine, weed, party drugs.

Depending on our background, our upbringing, our experiences with those substances, we can develop vastly different perspectives and attitudes about our kid’s potential use – from my experience, there are at least a few:

There’s the parent who wants to keep them from ever trying substances to begin with,

The parent who’s resigned to the fact that their kid will probably experiment with substances but chalks it up to just part of growing up

The parent who decides to head off any substance issues by teaching their kid how to use substances safely – or provides a place for their kid to use with friends for safety reasons

And then there’s the parent who thinks substances are fun – and actively provides substances and even joins in partying, because they’re the cool parent

I’m Ann Coleman and this week on Speaking of Teens, part 1 of a 2-part series on adolescents and substance use; Understanding your teen’s risk regarding the use of substances – what you need to know to make sure you have the correct mindset regarding your kid’s potential use.

Ann: There’s nothing quite like life experience when you’re looking for an expert.

If you need someone to help you publish your first novel, you might want to find someone who’s actually published a novel.

If you’re looking for someone to give you advice on how to become an Instagram Influencer, you probably want to pay for advice from an Instagram Influencer.

And if you’re looking for someone to give you advice on teens and substance use, you might want to find someone who has a lot of experience as a teen substance user…

 Kriya: Yeah, so I mean, my professional path towards being an addiction and prevention specialist, um, really started an adolescent clinician. Um, started with my own story, my own personal story. So I was in rehab at 19 with multiple addictions, which included full-blown alcoholism, like an alcohol use disorder, so we now call it, and, uh, self-harm and an eating disorder.

Kriya: And, and I would say, I don't know that I would call it sexual addiction, but it was, um, almost an underlying, some of that was a whole lot of need for belonging, but that presented itself as a, um, almost a boy craziness, you know, that that would manifest itself and what probably look, looked like promiscuity, you know, to, to the world around me.

Ann: Attending one of the biggest party colleges in the country may not have been the best move for a kid with a major alcohol problem but that didn’t stop her from diving headfirst into Greek life and becoming a legend for her ability to intake massive quantities of alcohol at frat parties.

At 19 she took a break from those parties to enter rehab and was able to go  back to college and enjoy all it had to offer (other than the alcohol) and has had a life of recovery for the past 33 years. That’s who you want on your side when your kid’s drinking or doing drugs.

Ann: Kriya Lendzion is a rockstar in the world of prevention, intervention, and treatment of substance use disorders and other addictive behaviors.

Ann: As a licensed addictions clinician and prevention specialist, over the past 20 years, she's worked in almost every conceivable setting with adolescents going through the hardest of times from schools to juvenile justice and private practice. But she's also worked with parents and educators to bring a deeper level of understanding for what it takes to prevent our kids from becoming involved with substances in the first place and how to intervene if they do.

Ann: Kriya. Thank you so much for being here today. Can you tell us. Why we should even be concerned about our, our kids smoking weed, vaping, and, and drinking when we know they're going to do it, most of them are going to end up doing it. So help us out here. .

Kriya: Yeah. And most of us did it . You know, and most of us turned out okay.

Kriya: So I think we can tend to, um, dismiss it sometimes, you know, it's just normal rights of passage and like, eh, not a big deal. Um, they'll grow out of it. There's, there's two reason one. One is, you know, the, is what's going on with adolescent brains and how they are wired for addiction and habit forming, like no other time ever.

Kriya: Um, the second is because what's out there isn't what we necessarily grew up with. We've got new research on what we might have actually done to our brains, um, and done more damage than we realize, but it's also, there's new substances that are way more impactful and way more dangerous. So, point number one.

Kriya: . So adolescent brains, and I know you, you have talked about this really well on your, on your show before that, uh, they are malleable, you know, like that molding clay that, you know, you took outta the package when your kids are little and you take outta the package and it all is all shapeable and then it hardens.

Kriya: So our brains are the hardened clay . Their brains are the, you know, the soft play. But they are, they are what, what is firing is wiring. So they are, um, they can learn four times faster than we can like anything, which is a, a, a wonderful thing. It means it's like they're so alive and multiple and shapeable.

Kriya: Um, and that's the bad news too. So they're also, they've got overactive, um, stress hormones. They've got, uh, reproductive hormones that are sending them on a roller coaster of mood and frustration and tension. They are, um, they're, they're amygdalas, they're threat response part of their brain, which, which goes into fight flight threes when it feels threatened.

Kriya: And though their survival alarm is extra responsive, cuz So this is why parents, fyi, when you know, you, uh, when they feel when they are rejected or excluded, , the thing has happened, that to you is like, that's not a big deal. Or they, um, you have given them a look. And they are talking about like, you yelled at me all morning and you're like, I just looked at you.

Kriya: All of that is the response of an overreactive amygdala, you know, which, which, which misperceives things as threats. And then the, anything that is perceived as a threat is responded to by the brain as a survival threat. Like really? So that breakup, yes it is. Feels like their brain is telling them it's the end of the world.

Kriya: Like that they're in danger. So they've got all of that. So they have like overwhelm, like we don't have , ? So they're overwhelmed a lot, so their feel bads feel extra bad, but then their feel goods feel extra good. So they have a dip in dopamine during adolescents. And dopamine is the pleasure chemical that pops up when they have, you know, fun, thrilling, new, exciting.

Kriya: And they actually have a dip in that, which is, you know, it seems like is designed to encourage them to go out into the world and have new experiences. That's sort of like, you know, the grand design. But what that means is, is it translates into, quote unquote, the thrill seeking, you know, kind of stereotype of the teenager, which is actually brain-based.

Kriya: So it turns out, so they're craving dopamine, and when their dopamine does pop off, when they do something that feels good, works for them, brings them confidence, belonging removes their stress is fun. Those, all those needs, it actually extra wires. So the do well, the dopamine pops off extra big and when the dopamine pops off extra big, it actually helps wire those connections in their brain.

Kriya: So you put all of that together, you know that equation is, is that they are feeling overwhelmed largely. Often they don't wanna feel it would like to turn that down, escape from it , you know? . They're big picture thinking part of their brain. The prefrontal cortex  behind the forehead, not fully developed, won't be until their mid twenties.

Kriya: It's still 30% not developed by the time they start high school. so they don't wanna feel the discomfort of the overwhelm , they wanna belong like no other time in their lives. They're craving feel good, fun experiences, but they're not thinking all the way through about, like, the big picture of that. What could happen if I do this , what is a healthy versus unhealthy wise during, you know, versus unwise decision.

Kriya: They're just not, and they're not capable of doing that all the way. So they do the thing that they haven't thought out all the way, you know, and they, um, and it feels good and it works and it goes chi chunk. That's the sound effect I always give kids when I'm teaching it. Yeah. And they, um, and it hardwires a connection that, um, can last into adulthood, particularly if it's repeated.

Kriya: So that means if our kid has a positive experience with alcohol weed, you know, that helps 'em feel comfortable in their skin, makes 'em feel connected and belonging and included by, by their peers, makes their stress, anxiety, depression. You know, fill in the blank. Self-consciousness go away. Um, or it's just freaking fun.

Kriya: Yeah. And feels good and pleasurable. Then that has really just solidified a connection for them that is intense, you know, and can be long lasting. So they are wired for addiction, like no other time in their lives. That is the part one of why it should matter.

Ann:  I'm just thinking about my own son and he had anxiety and so the first time he told me this, the first time he tried, it calmed his anxiety or he, he thought it did.

Ann: And, and so that was instantly wired in him that he, that this is good, this is gonna help me. He was self-medicating and it, and it just, you know, the next time he did it. So you're saying, you know, those connections get stronger and stronger each time they do it until it's like done.

Kriya: it justpaves the pathway.

Kriya: . You know, it's like that, that, that connection, those synapse connection in their brain.  And so that's why, you know, we have all this research that shows the younger a kid goes there with substances, the more likely they are to, um, develop a problem and the worse that problem is likely to be.

Kriya: .Which you brought up when you were researching, doing some of that research on like letting your kid drink , you know, that's, Topic. So we know that the research is overwhelming. That shows that because of what's happening, you know, what's happening in the brain there. So, you know, in my personal story, I had these like holes, these gaps, these needs that I didn't really know how to meet yet.

Kriya: You know, where I had all these angsty feels and, and reasons why I had a lot going on for me and had not been taught, um, coping skills, you know, for. Um, how to deal with those things, but I had, I lived above a bar in a restaurant and so shocker.

Kriya: What I, what I could reach for, ? What, what was  there?

Kriya: That was way more convenient was booze and food, and I just knew as soon as I put that in my body, for one, I gained social acceptance because of the situations my first drinking experiences were. surrounded around peer acceptance. They were surrounded family acceptance. They were, I mean, it really like solidified some things and hit me  where it mattered to me and went, yes, this is good stuff.

Kriya: Brings you good stuff, does good stuff. you know, so do this again.

Ann: so for parents that think, okay, well this, it's not a big deal. I mean, they're gonna drink, they're going to smoke weed. I did. You know? Yeah. It, it just happens. And look, I'm not addicted, but the, the danger is you've got different kids that react different ways to different things.

Ann: . And, and many different factors that go into this. So it's not, not just their age when they start, but many other factors. So you don't know, it's like a Yeah.

Kriya: Russian roulette. . And I was, um, and, and granted, you know, like there were the households where there were the parents that let us have the beer, you know, when I was a teenager growing up and, and those kids that I was drinking with or in their house, Some of them turned out, most of them like turned out okay.

Kriya: . and didn't struggle the way that I struggled, but I was a high risk kid to start with. So that's, that's also just a lens, you know, a conversation in and of itself. Which is, which is about really honestly identifying, putting on the table. You know, what your kid is walking around with and who your child is and being honest about where their sensitivities might be.

Kriya:  you know, what might be attractive to them, what they might attach to, where their holes and gaps are, where they're, they don't have alternatives that are satisfying yet and convenient. Like all of that is really, uh, the preventative piece that we wanna do as parents. But I think, you know, the point is going back to like, why we should care is because that that can all wire very intensely, um, and, and create some long-term patterns, even if it doesn't happen just yet.

Kriya: Our kid might be 25, 30 and 40. And what they learned by using young really kicks in and and matters then and our, we as parents, we're playing the long game, everything we're trying to teach them. . And we're not just like, I just want them to thrive and be mentally well and healthy until they're 18 and they leave the house, then they can, like, it's okay if their life falls apart.

Kriya: That's not how we think about parenting. We're playing the long game. So, yeah. So I think, you know, the important part is that it's not, that doesn't mean that we freak out because our kid has gone there, but that just means that we, that we do stop, pause and, and sort of dig in there to, to use that as some really important time to sort of wrap around and, and guide our child through and, and keep our eyes close on what happens next and what they do with that information that they got from that use.

Kriya: So, so it doesn't become destructive.

Ann: so it is important then you're saying for parents too. To actually say don't do it. I mean, we, we don't want to just say, yeah, have the party over here let's, you know, as long as you're doing the, yeah. You know, the smoking weed here at our house or the drinking here at our house, the important thing is to put that off as long as humanly possible. Because of that.

Kriya: Absolutely , because all the research shows that the longer you and you gave some great stats in that, in that episode about alcohol. Okay. Um, and, and use is that we, we know research has shown this over and over, that the longer they wait, the better, the longer use. So, so our end game, part of our end game, part of our, our main intentions is we wanna try to delay, use, especially repeated use or regular use, until their brains are done growing because everything imprints itself in a particular way.

Kriya: And also they, the other piece of their brains is that they are sensitive to the impact of substances in a way that we are not. So we can smoke weed for a straight month and it will absolutely affect our cognitive processing and our big picture thinking, you know, and our, um, motor coordination and some of those, those processes.

Kriya: But we stop, it's, we brains are gonna clear out and we're gonna be fine as adults. For the most part, an adolescent brain that is heavily using. Caffeine, even everything, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, weed, you know, all the things. It is shown to slow the development of that front part of the brain, which is super crucial for thriving and to just make some impacts that, like in the case of alcohol, as much as we normalize it, we now know newer research, like brand new research, one of the most toxic things you can put into your body,

Kriya: The World Health Organization has just made some statements about saying that there is no safe amount of alcohol or that somebody can drink at any age.

Ann: holy moly. Okay.

Kriya: Was that Yeah, yeah, there is. I think it's, I can't remember if it's Canada, don't quote me on that. Went from saying, okay, as long as it's, you know, under 15 drinks a week,

Kriya: Ooh. You know, that was like the limit. Yeah. Just a week. As long as that's spread out to. being, what they see is the statement, what their health, what their, um, health department or whatever has made the statement. I can't remember if it is Australia or Canada. Oh, I've got some phone calls to make to . Yeah.

Kriya: So there, there's been a real close link to breast cancer and alcohol. Like there it is. So it is the, it is one of the most toxic things we can put in a brain. And we now know, kind of go into part two of like what we know that we didn't mm-hmm. when everybody was normalizing it. All. . Was that, that some of that drinking leaves impacts on teen brains in terms of, um, processing and learning and memory and, and um, stress response management, adaptive thinking, impulse control, all of those things have been shown to be impacted by either regular teen use or binge drinking.

Kriya: So meaning a kid who rarely goes there, but then when they do, they strap on six drinks. Yeah. Yeah. Or seven drinks. They've shown that that drinking episode has just done the same damage as the kid that's used that's drinking regularly.

Ann: So the other thing, I think the deal is between what we did, like let's say marijuana, cannabis, weed, whatever you wanna call it.

Ann: Mm-hmm. back when we were doing it, um, well I didn't do it until I was 29, but anyway, I was a goodie two shoes. But the, you know, it's different, ? And, and the way that they can, um, ingest it is different. So talk to us about that a little bit.

Kriya:  So in general, like think of all of the things that we are familiar with and that we might have used, ?

Kriya: I mean, we tend to be a, a bend there, done that generation, even if you didn't go there till later, a lot of us did. And so that, that which actually leads to us tending to like minimize like, well it's not a big deal. You know, I did some ecstasy in college. I did some of the, some of that like, and here I am.

Kriya: CEO of something cool. Um, but yeah, the things are different. Like this is not our weed. Definitely not our, our parents' weed went from the seventies. So, so pretty much every substance, nicotine, caffeine, alcohol, cannabis, like the big those, those ones, the most normalized ones are, um, they are hulkified versions of what we grew up with.

Kriya: So, you know, the caffeine, all of the, there's all of the energy drinks, quote unquote energy drinks, . That have been marketed to our, directly to our kids, which can have up to like three shots of espresso worth of caffeine in there. Like just, you know, slamming their bodies with that, which we know and we couldn't, that didn't.

Kriya: when we were growing up, like you actually have to have a bunch of just straight up copy, but we did no doses. Dew Mountain Dew. Mountain Dew. Like, yeah. Mountain Dew and no DOZE in, in college. Um, but we, we know kids are, are extra addictive to, they're more prone to developing addiction to smaller amounts.

Kriya: Than we are of caffeine. And again, that like high amounts of caffeine are, are creating, um, they're showing heart some heart issues, real sleep issues for our kid. There have been many medical emergencies that aren't talked about enough with kids having  episodes where they're like pounding their energy drink and then they go into practice.

Kriya: You know, they, they, they hype up their heart before they hype up. That all happens for one. So there's addiction and medical emergencies related to caffeine. It also makes them more likely to get addicted to other stimulants, fyi, research shows if they have started with caffeine, so, and then, you know, like alcohol is now coming in.

Kriya: I mean, alcohol is, does is doing the same thing to the brain that it always did. But like I just said, we didn't know what it was doing. Um, my doctor has been very clear with me that some of my, some of the things we normalize, like memory issues once you hit, you know, in forties or whatever, they're like, he just said, you know, here's a, like, we've been normalizing that forever and we don't realize how much of that may have to do with the way that we drink.

Kriya: Okay. When we were younger that now it's kind of, you know, showing up and catching. But the other thing is that, is that alcohol is coming in more appealing forms and stronger the ability for our kids to drink more in one sitting, like in my day we had wine coolers, a half liter bottle, and you would have to down that whole thing to get a good buzz, ?

Kriya: And now there's twisted everything. Twisted cider and root beer and lemonade and fruit punch. And then every cocktail, you know, the yummiest cocktail with all the fruity flavors is in a can or a, or a bottle with high. Like 15% alcohol, you know what I mean? Three times your average beer. Some of those are really, really strong.

Kriya: And so, you know, that makes it much more appealing to kids. And now they've got the combination of caffeine and alcohol that are coming pre, like in a drink, you know, and the, and the throw in vodka in Red Bull and thinking, oh, this will keep me hyped up and partying all night. When, when unfortunately the, the stimulant of that keeps them from noticing that their blood alcohol content is going up and up and up and up.

Kriya: And we get kids that they get way drunker than they meant to or realize they're getting - And then they're ending up, um, passed out in a coma, you know, alcohol poisoning and didn't see it coming. Yeah. That's scary. You know? So it's alcohol. And then we've got, we, yeah. Where, where it is, you know, where it was thc, Tetrahydrocannabinol being the main, the psychoactive ingredient that makes you high and has also been shown to stunt the growth of the adolescent brain has been shown different than adults. I'm a, I am a pro legalization person for lots of reasons. One being like, boy, it would be nice if everybody knew what they were getting. But . But, um, that there's a very distorted perception that adolescents are, are absorbing, which is, oh, well this is safe and it's medicinal and it's helpful and it's, and without the, and Yeah. . And it's laid without. Yeah. As is cigarettes, as is alcohol, which we have extremely high death rates on.

Kriya: So, but that, there's just that and that and of like, and we know now what we did not know, one is that that, um, it, it is that it, we did not know. It disrupted the growth of the front, front of the brain when we were, when we were younger, um, that it was different than it was for a, that there was any different impact on adolescents than there was on adults.

Kriya: No idea. But, but also that THC content that was one to 2% in the seventies, maybe 8% in the eighties, five to eight is now average, 20 to 25 in just the, in just the Bud Flower cannabis.

Ann: Yeah. And then you have the wax and the butter and all that stuff. Dabbing and stuff.

Kriya: Exactly. So, and that, and that is, um, cuz it's been modified, modified, modified. But then, , what you were just saying, Anne, and, and I know that not a lot of, not, not every parent knows what that is. . So now we've got these concentrate. Where it is, you know, like we're familiar with hash and you take like hash and you still hulkified hash it is what this is.

Kriya: So they have extracted through different, you know, chemical processes, ? They have extracted, um, the THC from the plant mm-hmm. and, and created these concentrates which are either in liquid form, you know, there can be THC liquid, so that is capable, which also includes a bunch of other things in there, which on, in lots of cases are largely a huge question mark at what, how that, how that affects the body to be inhaling, vaporizing certain things.

Kriya: So that's one piece. Um, and we discovered vitamin E that it turns out was part one of the things that was causing people to get really sick and leading to, um, pneumonia like symptoms, teenagers getting lung transplants, people dying was because when you heat up vitamin E, it turns into a poison and makes people sick. but nobody was testing these out. Nobody, you know, it wasn't that kind of thing. So, so there's a bunch of other things in there that haven't been, we haven't, don't have any proof on what that is.  And so those concentrates can be 50 to 90 plus percent thc and then the dab wax that you were mentioning, Ann, which is just, it's, it kind of looks like, can look like wax or butter or molasses or honey.

Kriya: Like it can have all these different looks to it, but it's, you know, basically they'll call it dab. I think that's most common. They are flatter butter. But they, it's like a rice sized amount of, that, you know, is a typical dose of it, which can be in a pen or in a little thing they call a rig, which looks like a bong.

Kriya: But they've developed all of these kinds of devices from hoodie, hoodie strings that are actually, you know, and, and like camel, you know, tubes that go in backpacks and it can look like a key fob or a lipstick. Or a inhaler. But it's all vaping devices for high concentrated. Cannabis products, which there's absolutely no research on.

Kriya: So the research that we know about brain disruption is from like weak weed, the regular weed, like five to maybe 10% weed. Old school weed. They have not had any research on what's slamming and adolescent brain with in like cannabis crack, essentially. Oh yeah. You know what that is doing to a growing brain and I, I all the theories are it's not gonna look good.

Ann: Yeah. I would not think so.

Kriya:  Yeah. When we see that, and that's a, and that is what, so when kids are like, oh, I'm using weed, or when ki when parents catch their kids vaping, it's really important to understand that is not weed. . It's not, it's not the plant. Yeah. It's just straight thc and, and the other thing that's happening is a lot of kids, Sick.

Kriya: Mm-hmm. So my, in my clientele  now is my coaching practice. I've got a whole wave of kids that are having digestive stomach pains and, and appetite issues. And so it's called hyperemesis can cannabis hyperemesis, where it's actually making people sick, or we're having incidences at all, or middle schools and high schools, you know, where kids are greening out, ?

Kriya: So they're having edibles or taking in this high potency stuff that's, that's so strong. They're getting sick, like vomiting profusely, dangerously over it. Or having psychotic episodes like going into psychosis. And these are becoming common in the school day for our kids, for one. Um, that's terrifying for those things to be happening.

Kriya: So it's not, and, and then nicotine is kind of the same thing in that it has become so, so when you're vaping. Just like with cannabis, that's become the popular way to use cannabis. So our kids are starting, they're using for the first time most often, those products now, and they're, and they'll be fruit loop flavored and whatever.

Kriya: I mean, they're made bootleg style. The, the cartridges, they call 'em carts. The liquid are being made bootleg in people's

Ann: basements. Okay. That's what I was gonna ask you. How are they getting, how are they getting these things like that, that, so people are just making it, they know how to make it in their

Kriya: basement.

Kriya: Oh, absolutely. So when I, when they, the trend was starting, like, um, two years ago. Mm-hmm. , you know, when I was hearing that, that people were, were dying and getting sick from these vapes, and I goo went to Google it. . Yeah. The FBI is totally watching me. Let me just say that. But when I, when I go to the things, I look up y'all.

Kriya: Yeah. Yep. But when I went to Google that what I was, the first thing that came up for me was I was offered that I could buy, um, a hundred packages. , uh, just the empty packaging for these products. Oh, that's . For, you know, so many, so for a couple hundred bucks. Meaning that I could Yes, absolutely.

Kriya: Have a business where I was making this and manufacture it in your basement. Yeah. So, and that's the ones that are, that are, they're, they call 'em candy carts or cereal carts. Like they're the, they're a Captain Crunch flavored and Skittles flavored. And it is, and they have the cartoon characters on the little boxes, like it is, that's, that is most often what kids are offered, you know, have on the bus, in the bathroom at school, and what they can get their hands on.

Kriya: And they're like 10 bucks, you know, 20 bucks. So they'll be cheap and, um, highly concentrated. Bunch of crap in there. So let me just mention nicotine, because this is, again, another one that parents blow off is like, well, at least they're not smoking weed. So it's important to know, like, what we didn't know then, which is nicotine, the most addictive substance that exists.

Kriya: Wow. Like it creates receptors for itself in the brain. It's like the most evil, devious substance. And almost immediately, it's almost immediately. So, so for a, um, ninth grader for example, so 50%, one out of two kids pick up a vape, try it. One of those is likely to be get addicted.

Kriya: It's that, that's the stat. And then you take the forms, like you were saying, and the forms that it is coming in. So now, um, you know, there were downsides to cigarettes. So even though, yeah, cigarettes very, very addictive, just chemically and the way that it creates some feelgood chemicals in the brain, like some feels, but there was all these downsides didn't feel great in the lungs.

Kriya: It Smelled bad. People were offended by it, you know, on and on. Yeah. So then, but here's this product that is, and thousands of flavors with these devices that actually, like, you know, they've, they. The fact that you can make vape tricks and that that's a thing that you can like, oh yes, float be really, really,

And they have professional vapers and vaping contests and vaping shows. That's the thing. Performances. They're filling amphitheater with these vape tricks. So, um, so it's, it's, and it, and it's in fun little flavors and it doesn't really hurt, or if you know, you don't feel it the same way.

Kriya: And you can, you can vape in class and blow it down your sleeve, you know, like you can get away with it everywhere. Yeah. So all of that, um, you know, leads to it being more appealing and more addictive. And then you add the fact that they are now taking, so they are in a lab, you know, manufacturing more and more addictive forms, .

Kriya: Of nicotine in vapes. So the, the big, you know, they call 'em the tank devices, ? Those ones that give off the fat clouds. The giant ones. All those bigger ones, you know, that, that adults, a lot of adults really started with those, um, jewel, when Jewel came on the scene a few years ago, it changed the game.

Kriya: Yep. That's when it changed. Yep. They advertised to kids. We all know that now. Mm-hmm. and on their platforms that we, we were missing that it was happening and then all of a sudden, one outta five kids has one in their pocket. Yep. That was actually the statistic, most of which didn't even know there was nicotine in them.

Kriya: So we know. So one of jules's selling points was that they were like, oh, well our product goes to the brain 2.7 times faster Oh. Than the other things on the market. Which just FYI, rule for all some substances, the stronger they are, the faster they go to the brain, the more impairing they are for one, but the more addictive they are.

Kriya: So now they have in the lab. So what, what is in particularly like those pod devices like Juul? Mm-hmm. the one where they buy the, you know, they buy the, the vape device and then they replace it, you know, replace the pod or the disposables, which is where it's at with kids now they're little, they are literally can be just, you know, three inches high little plastic colored things.

Kriya: They come in all the fruity flavors. Um, and they, nothing looks harmful about them. Those disposable ones that are the most appealing and the most stealthiest.  Easiest to just sort of shove in your pocket or anywhere are the most, those are also the most addictive. That nicotine is not being extracted from tobacco anymore.

Kriya: It's being made in a lab. Mm-hmm. .So they are making it more, more addictive. So that's, that is the, you know, unfortunate part about. All of these substances. . And then we've got the fentanyl crisis, which is exploding, that we have had 114% increase in fatal overdoses of our 14 to 18 year olds in the past two years.

Kriya: Yeah. I mean, I really need you to hear that statistic. And those are not, you know, one thing that I have been honored and both, um, haunted by is that I've developed all these relationships with parents that have lost their kids over the last couple years. And I'm telling you, Anne, and listeners, they are, they, you know, it's no longer just like, quote unquote that kid, you know, that is so Yes.

Kriya: Kids with substance use disorder for sure. But it is. It is. Kids are dying trying things. Yes, exactly. Because it's getting into everything. Yep. And that has never been our worry as parents. . . So Absolutely. The pressed pills, The, the prescription ones, even though they say Percocet, Oxycontin, Xanax, they are being bootleg manufactured.

Kriya: They are fake and they have, they can, are having fentanyl in them increasingly. Yeah. Um, and I have lost a three kids, four kids that I absolutely love and was close to in the last two years Oh my, to, to fake pills. Um, and again, had the stories all over the country . Of of the, the one, I mean, the one pill that the kid took.

Ann: As a parent, what do we do to help protect them from these things, especially now that we know that they're deadly.

Kriya: I think it does have a lot to do with relationship because, you know, ultimately, like they're, they're getting lots of messaging around them that is completely distorted and completely dangerous.

Kriya: you know, from their, from their peers and from social media and from, you know, they're not getting that accurate intel. And unfortunately most, um, schools are not doing comprehensive harm, reduction based drug education. Little insert that. I really encourage everybody to advocate for that.

Kriya: The schools could be doing a lot more. Yeah. That's my big, that's my big platform  now, but so, so it is on us. you know, it is ultimately on us. Um, and, and that means number one, like we have to stay on top of it, which is hard to do because it's constantly trending.  So it's important that we educate ourselves and stay, stay informed because if, if the whole point is that we need to be trustworthy sources of information, support and guidance for our kids through this, cuz it's confusing and it's scary and it's dangerous and they're not getting that anywhere else, Sure.

Kriya: You know, we don't have a whole lot of backup on this, you know, so it really falls on us. So that means for one, that we, we do have to have accurate information and, and stay on top of that. And I'll make sure that, that, that there's some sources for that in the show notes. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. For where you can just a couple places you can plug in and get, cuz there, there are a couple sources that I plug in that are absolutely, you know, that are made, designed for parents where I get my updates mm-hmm.

Kriya: on some of the research and the, and the things that are trustworthy. So, um, you know, you don't have to be a, a drug specialist. . But I think. Keeping your finger on the pulse a little bit and, and then it is about relationship. I mean, it really, cuz again, they're, if they don't trust you to be open, if they don't, um, if they don't feel connected enough to you or trust how you're gonna respond, you know, if they were open, if they don't feel like cared about, known exactly.

Kriya: Listened to, you know, all those just sort of core connection, you know, places with our kids, then we're not gonna have that impact. . I mean, we can follow all of the pointers of like, oh, this is how you have a conversation with your kids about drugs? Or, this is how you consequence in impactful ways.

Kriya: Great. You can read the book and do the things and if, and if you don't have your relationship tight at the foundation of that, it's not gonna, it's not gonna stick to them.

Ann: So that's number one Then is making sure that we have a solid connection with our kids, that they mm-hmm. know that they can trust us, that they can come to us and tell us things that we don't freak out about.

Ann: That we don't run off and tell kids, parents, or ask them deep questions about what, when, where, why, and all that stuff. They, they need to be able to trust that they can tell us things.

There was just too much to discuss with Kriya to squeeze it all into one episode, so this is where it made sense to end this episode 42.

At this point it should be clear why we don’t want our kids to use substances during adolescence and why the pull can be so strong for them to do so. Alcohol, weed, nicotine – all of this is really poison to our kid’s brains – and it’s much worse today than it was when we were young.

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Don’t miss next week’s episode where we discuss what to do when we discover our kid’s used drugs or alcohol and how to head it off in the first place…so much priceless information and insight!

You can go to the show notes at neurogility.com/42 for a link to those resources Kriya mentioned in this episode, along with a  link to her free guide, the "Grown Ups Guide to the Adolescent Brain (and How to Parent It)" and two valuable articles on her blog, "How to Respond When We Discover our Kids Drinking or Using Drugs" and "10 Tips for Becoming a Teen Communication Jedi."

You can also go to https://www.kriyalendzion.com/ to join her mailing list, to receive rich, best-of-the-best resources for parents re: substance use, adolescent brains, and healthy screens.

Speaking of Teens is the official podcast of neurogility.com, an organization dedicated to educating parents about their teens.

Go to neurogility.com/herewego for our free parenting guides and e-books

If you found this episode helpful, please do me a favor and pass it along to your mom friends – help spread the word so I can help as many parents as possible.

And again, don’t forget to come back next week for the second episode in this series when we’ll discuss how to deal with your teen if you find out their using and how to prevent it in the first place. Follow the show where you’re listening so you’ll see it as soon as it pops up.

Bye for now!