52 - Speaking of Teens

Speaking of Teens

#52: How To Reduce Conflict With Your Teen While Strengthening Your Relationship

On this one-year anniversary episode of Speaking of Teens, I’ll share with you what it has taken me the better part of the last 4 years to extrapolate from the science: A 4-part framework that will help you avoid conflict with your teen, build a stronger relationship with them and positively influence their behavior.

Back in 2017 and 2018 our family was struggling. Our son was experiencing horrible anxiety and major depression on top of ADHD and other learning issues. These issues then morphed into substance use, trouble at school, and trouble with the law. My husband and I did not have the skills to deal with his issues properly.

We sought help from many different sources but never really understood the underlying issues until I began reading and studying the science of adolescence.

As I began learning more about emotions and how to communicate with him better (my husband really knew better), things started to turn around. The arguments began to dissipate, our relationship improved, and our son’s trajectory completely changed. I haven’t stopped reading and studying since then.

I deeply regret that it took me until his 18^th birthday to get things right. I regret that I wasn’t more emotionally aware and better able to regulate my own emotions. I regret that I was more concerned about controlling his behavior than learning why he was behaving the way was. I regret that I didn’t know how to communicate with him properly.

I sincerely do not want you to have any such regrets and I don’t want your teenager to go through anything near what my son went through. Join me this week for the big picture.

Access TRANSCRIPT here.

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I make this show for you, and I really appreciate and value your feedback. I’d love your suggestions for how I make the show better. And if you’d like me to cover a specific topic or you have a parenting question that I could discuss in a future episode, please reach out, I’d love to hear from you!

You may be interested in one or more of my FREE Parenting Guides.

Sources, Resources and Mentions:

Part 1 of the Framework:

Episodes 3 and 4

Inventing Ourselves: The Secret Life of the Teenage Brain (Blakemore)

The Teenage Brain (Jensen)

The Challenging Adolescent Brain (free guide)

Part 2 of the Framework:

Episodes 8, 30, and 48

Emotional Agility (David)

No Drama Discipline (Siegel and Bryson)

Mindfulness (Williams and Penman)