From Parent Camp Newsletter 2-21-24
I don’t know if you read Tuesday’s newsletter or not but I mentioned a sibling study in which researchers reiterated what we really already know; each one of our kids needs to be treated as the unique individual they are.
But often the traits that make our kids unique show up “biggie sized” in adolescence.
It can be really hard to respect and appreciate a teen’s excellent analytical skills when they use those skills to argue about everything under the sun!
Traits that may not serve them so well now, could turn out to be real assets for them later on (hyper-focus, rebelliousness, super-emotional, able to relax when filth is piled up all around them, etc.)
As parents we have an innate fear about our kids’ future. We want them to have a great life, free from financial worries and emotional concerns.
So when we see anything in them that points in the other direction, we tend to panic a little. Then everything we see in them tends to just confirm our fears – those big personality traits really start to stand out even more.
When you find yourself zeroing in on one of those personality traits that really worries you, remember this:
- they still have years to go before their brain is “fully cooked”
- your parents complained about you too
- adults you respect today were once teenagers whose parents likely thought they had some pretty negative personality quirks
Remind yourself that you do not have a crystal ball. You cannot predict the future (and you should stop immediately whenever you find yourself headed down that road.)
Life is hard enough without looking for something to worry about that hasn’t happened and likely will not happen. Just sayin’.
That’s all! I hope to see you tomorrow (Thursday, 10 am!)