I've been where you are. Parenting seems to ease up a bit when they can reach the sink, shower, get dressed, even fix their own cereal, or microwave a hot dog. But it hits again (hard) anywhere from age 10 or 12 to 16 or 17 depending on the kid.

My husband and I were constantly flummoxed by our son's behavior beginning at around age 16; his emotional outbursts, his anxiety, his seeming lack of motivation, his unwillingness to listen or cooperate or, later on, to help us help him. We were beside ourselves as things spiraled. I take most of the blame. My attitude was "he's not going to act this way!" and I proceeded to lecture, punish, argue, and try to control him as much as I possibly could.

We know now that I was completely wrong (and if I’m honest, it’s what my husband and I argued about the most – we definitely disagreed about how to parent at that point). It was mostly fear that drove me but I was also under the wrong impression about the amount and type of control I should have over him at his age. Trying to control and punish and demand our way through our teen’s adolescence (whether out of fear or a faulty parenting style) will never work – it will always backfire. There’s a better way. And I want, more than anything, to help you learn now what it took me way too long to understand...so you can achieve a true transformation as soon as possible.